Well I can honestly say that if there was ever any doubt, all doubt has officially been removed and I hereby declare that I CAN NOT DANCE SEXY! Or walk sexy either apparently.
Let me start off by saying that last night I had a date with Netflix, a sofa, and two fuzzy cats. And then the text came, with little furry cartoon gifs pleading me to accompany a friend to a Burlesque demonstration (L’amour Burlesque), ahem, demonstration my ass, but let me continue.
First, my friend and I filled up on McDonald’s, because yes, when you want to feel sexy, the best course of action is to fill up on cheeseburgers and fries. Note to self…a giant bottle of cold Prosecco would have been a much better course of action in this situation.
Then, we arrived to a room full of wonderful Italian women who were all geared up in black tights like they were going to a hot yoga session, not that I have any idea about hot yoga, but this is kinda how I imagine it would be.
Next, the hot instructor starts dancing sexy like it’s nobody’s business and she expects all of us, yep, me included, to stand up and join her. What? I thought this was a demo and I could opt out? After all, I was only there for moral support of my friend, who lured me in with those cute cartoon gifs, damned those cute Gifs already! But alas, I owed her one since I often drag her to vintage car events (see, cars are sexy to me). I was also the only one wearing tight jeans and was cursing my friend under my breath while praying I would not slip a disc in my back. I know, I sound like I am 100 years old, I get it, really I do. It is my own fault for being such a lazy slob…insert here, I have no excuses.
Did I mention this is BURLESQUE? Yeah, so rolling around on the floor trying to look all sexy and you guessed it, I was the class clown, just imagine Lucille Ball in any video clip and that would be me. But come on, funny can be sexy too ya know. How else could I have possibly gotten not one, but two men to marry me? The instructor/sexy dance teacher, with the toned body and limbs like Gumby agreed that I was pretty horrible (numerous times I might add), but I made her laugh and it was a fun night. And her co-conspirator decided I would be a useful dance partner because I have long arms, well thank God for that!
The million dollar question is, will I sign up for the Burlesque Lessons? And my resounding answer is, Hell Yes! I see it this way, I will either end up in the hospital emergency room or I will have some fun and learn a few new tricks. After all, I may not be able to dance sexy (yet), but I did manage to co-write a sexy book (Dirty Words by Dominique Strong) which is available on Amazon -Dirty Words, (and yes, that was just a shameless plug to get you to buy my erotic book) and if I can write sexy, perhaps I am just one step away from dancing it too.
Sophie and Deborah @ L’Amour Burlesque Genova… Thank you for the fun night! Ci vediamo subito!
Help! I live with my Italian mother in law! 